i know that it's taking me a really long time to do updates and what not. BUT HEY, I'M HERE NOW :).
i've been living off my computer for entertainment really. our friend arthur had to wipe EVERYTHING OFF my computer. i wanna change my pictures but i can't. i do have an awesome camera but i can't upload any of those pictures because we need an external hard drive BAD. it slows down the computers. the pictures are so BIG.
anyway. besides that, i've been updating my zune. it looks all cool now, even though it's kind of old news. I GOT IT, so now it's new news again. hahaha.
i've been watching free episodes of just random shows.
i have been getting a lot of love from my friends lately. megan and janelle came to visit me for a little bit, then two days later, joan and betina came to actually hang out with me, and this morning, krst and cheyenne came to visit me as well :). i'm so glad i have such good friends because i really don't have any here. they're all really nam's friends--they're my friends too, but that's how i met them.
happy birthday jennifer! nam threw a barbeque for jennifer at our house, that was fun. only because the girls started drinking at like 2. RACHELLE came =] and got CRUNK, so that was nice. AMY got crunk and that never happens. i was fighting my black out because i wanted to see my hubby at night.
some thoughts.. i've been at home a lot. trying to entertain myself. i CANT WAIT for school to start. i'm even excited to REGISTER =]. i'm even more excited to see my FASA FAMILY =]. it's weird not having them in my life. it's the worst though, when all your bestfriends live in all different places. i haven't spoken to michael in awhile, but i love him =]
i assure you that when school starts, i'm sure i'll be writing all these witty, intelligent, as well as entertaining pieces, but for now, you guys have to put up with my lack of motivation..
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
lowell says i need to write a new blog.
and fortunate for him, it's been the general consensus lately.. from krst, michael, and pretty much MY FAN BASE.
i have other motivations to publish a post. not for the sake of peer pressure or anything under that "etc", but for personal reasons. i remember my first post and my intentions: to use it for emotional RELIEF, but as many of you know, you know sometimes being caught in the stress of every day life, it's hard to get all your thoughts put together--well it could be typed out, but probably would jibberish to you all.
speaking of why (and because of whom) i started this blog, was to rant. mostly about my shitty relationship, school, my amazing friends, and funny things that happen to me on a day to day basis. when that happened, i was in school, constantly at a computer, and my blog was my getaway from all that. well this past week i actually have some dramatic news to tell you. i don't wanna say this out loud (because of some unwanted celebration from the "dark side") but nam and i were really close to breaking up. Literally, OUT of no where.
now, as you guys can see from previous posts, i am NOT very good at relationships. i think im easy to fall in love with, but hard to stay in love with. they always want to leave. i guess in all reality, i've learned some precious lessons from that.. and i like to share it with you guys..
-relationships are work, even though the ideal relationship requires no work, it's nothing BUT work. work to keep your partner happy, work to keep the relationship fresh, work on communication, work on giving each other space, work for sex (ironic enough because single people in generally need to work also hahaha), work for money, and most importantly working to keep yourself happy.
-as much as you want your partner around, you can't. as much as your partner promises they'll stay around, they could change their mind. people promise other people things, for the long run. but you aren't guaranteed. i personally believe marriage is guaranteed, but with the divorce percentage, even THAT value is going down in so many social and moral levels. people change--and the relationship has to change with the people in them, or it will seriously get no where.
-sacrifices are required in a relationship. i know its cliche, but it's literally give and take. it's more than just sharing with your sibilings or cousins. it's on an emotional level. and it's not the "i'll scratch your back if you scratch your's" kind of ordeal. it's out of PURE love. that's what it should be.. unconditional acts of love.. lots of simple does a lot more than little bits of extravegent
-to be secure with your relationship, they're shouldn't be any room for MAJOR insecurities, or this relationship isn't for you. you seriously need to be secure with yourself. and you need to LOVE yourself before you can love anyone else. i think murphy lee from the st. lunatics said it in a song or something. this also brings me to another point. i know lots of people who has found love early. you really need to keep in mind that you guys WILL GROW, but its your partners responsibility to accept you for who you are. that's love.
- if you guys decide to live together, that's EXTRA WORK.. most days it's easy, but some days it's hard too. just make sure it's what you guys both want. fortunate for me, that i've been loving it.
i'm glad that nam and i have worked out the differences. i apparently need to make more sacrifices. it's a risk i'll have to take. i think that he is completely worth it. i don't understand what i did wrong some days since its happened, but i've been searching and thinking, and slowly i've been figuring it out. it's true love that gets you through hard times, but if you guys are both are willing to work, it should turn out just fine. i'm glad he's decided to stick it out. promises were made, and i know within myself i can make those come true. he's a great man, and i love him to death. he's brillant in every way possible. he's an excellent judge of character. maybe that's why the slightest thought of him being unhappy with me and him contemplating whether or not to be with me, scares me shitless. i love you nam. thank you for this relationship changing event.
...even though i hated you in the process of.
"i'm happy with my relationship EVERY day. not ALL DAY every day, but everyday."- charlotte york from sex and the city
thanks for all who read this. i hope my blabbering enlightens you, one way or the other.
- dedicated to nam p. mai.
i have other motivations to publish a post. not for the sake of peer pressure or anything under that "etc", but for personal reasons. i remember my first post and my intentions: to use it for emotional RELIEF, but as many of you know, you know sometimes being caught in the stress of every day life, it's hard to get all your thoughts put together--well it could be typed out, but probably would jibberish to you all.
speaking of why (and because of whom) i started this blog, was to rant. mostly about my shitty relationship, school, my amazing friends, and funny things that happen to me on a day to day basis. when that happened, i was in school, constantly at a computer, and my blog was my getaway from all that. well this past week i actually have some dramatic news to tell you. i don't wanna say this out loud (because of some unwanted celebration from the "dark side") but nam and i were really close to breaking up. Literally, OUT of no where.
now, as you guys can see from previous posts, i am NOT very good at relationships. i think im easy to fall in love with, but hard to stay in love with. they always want to leave. i guess in all reality, i've learned some precious lessons from that.. and i like to share it with you guys..
-relationships are work, even though the ideal relationship requires no work, it's nothing BUT work. work to keep your partner happy, work to keep the relationship fresh, work on communication, work on giving each other space, work for sex (ironic enough because single people in generally need to work also hahaha), work for money, and most importantly working to keep yourself happy.
-as much as you want your partner around, you can't. as much as your partner promises they'll stay around, they could change their mind. people promise other people things, for the long run. but you aren't guaranteed. i personally believe marriage is guaranteed, but with the divorce percentage, even THAT value is going down in so many social and moral levels. people change--and the relationship has to change with the people in them, or it will seriously get no where.
-sacrifices are required in a relationship. i know its cliche, but it's literally give and take. it's more than just sharing with your sibilings or cousins. it's on an emotional level. and it's not the "i'll scratch your back if you scratch your's" kind of ordeal. it's out of PURE love. that's what it should be.. unconditional acts of love.. lots of simple does a lot more than little bits of extravegent
-to be secure with your relationship, they're shouldn't be any room for MAJOR insecurities, or this relationship isn't for you. you seriously need to be secure with yourself. and you need to LOVE yourself before you can love anyone else. i think murphy lee from the st. lunatics said it in a song or something. this also brings me to another point. i know lots of people who has found love early. you really need to keep in mind that you guys WILL GROW, but its your partners responsibility to accept you for who you are. that's love.
- if you guys decide to live together, that's EXTRA WORK.. most days it's easy, but some days it's hard too. just make sure it's what you guys both want. fortunate for me, that i've been loving it.
i'm glad that nam and i have worked out the differences. i apparently need to make more sacrifices. it's a risk i'll have to take. i think that he is completely worth it. i don't understand what i did wrong some days since its happened, but i've been searching and thinking, and slowly i've been figuring it out. it's true love that gets you through hard times, but if you guys are both are willing to work, it should turn out just fine. i'm glad he's decided to stick it out. promises were made, and i know within myself i can make those come true. he's a great man, and i love him to death. he's brillant in every way possible. he's an excellent judge of character. maybe that's why the slightest thought of him being unhappy with me and him contemplating whether or not to be with me, scares me shitless. i love you nam. thank you for this relationship changing event.
...even though i hated you in the process of.
"i'm happy with my relationship EVERY day. not ALL DAY every day, but everyday."- charlotte york from sex and the city
thanks for all who read this. i hope my blabbering enlightens you, one way or the other.
- dedicated to nam p. mai.
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